Saturday, 6 August 2016

My Inner Child,Fairies and Sunshine.

I have had the pleasure of my three favourite children staying with me for a few days. My two granddaughters and dinosaur boy. The two oldest will be brand new six and five this month and the youngest is two and a half.
I love it when they get together although it's hard work sometimes. I enjoy watching them learning how to share,play and how to put others needs before their own. Sometimes it takes a little persuasion but they get there in the end.
Having them here brings out the inner child in me. I love crafting and stickers and colouring  and making things. The joy on their faces when they accomplish something and when they are praised for being so creative is priceless.
We managed to go to a makeshift cinema in the local town hall which was about a quarter of the price of the big cinemas. We saw Finding Dory which they loved and so did gran.

When we go to the park it makes me laugh when they think I'm capable of attempting the climbing frame or sitting inside the spinning teacup, ha ha I'd never get back out again. 
did once slide down the slide when out with dinosaur boy, he kept asking me to have a go and I said I was too old his reply was,
The Proof.
" Age is just life not what you are, your heart might be old but your brain is young,you can do this. Age is just a number." He had just turned five. 
With a tear in my eye I climbed the steps,slid down the slide and nearly got stuck. There was no one else in the park that day,thank goodness. 

At the end of their stay I remembered I had bought a fairy door. We found a good place to stick this magic door and the three of them sprinkled fairy dust over it saying,"Fairy please come and stay and give us lovely dreams each night." Because this is what fairies do. We left the tiny bottle which held the tiny key beside the door. If the key disappeared we would know a fairy had found the door and made her magic house behind it. 

The two girls had to go home before dinosaur boy but he couldn't content himself and was looking at the door constantly. He even left a toy car beside it for the fairy to get around in. 
The magical moment came when he found the tiny bottle empty and the key missing. Hubby and I were called upstairs to witness this moment. He was so excited. The next day the fairy had left a thank you note (as polite fairies always do) thanking the three children for her beautiful door and saying she wished they could see her magical house behind the door. A special thank you for the use of the car and she would make sure they had lovely dreams. Dinosaur boy was beyond excited by this time.
Of course when the girls return they will find the same things and the excitement will start all over again. I have plans for lots of tiny fairy things to magically appear beside the door just to prove there really is a fairy living there. By the way her name is Primrose.

The house is now back to normal, games,toys, stickers all packed away. It is so quiet and I always miss them a few seconds after they leave. 
I am now preparing for our summer holiday. Packing cases and trying not to forget anything important like my kindle. I will enjoy relaxing and reading although I think this holiday will be more about sightseeing than lying by a pool. We are going to Malta which is steeped in history and seems to be a very interesting country.
I hope you will come back and read my Malta Diaries when I return. Sunshine here I come! 

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Happy Birthday Blog!

I've only just realised that it was five years ago today I posted my first post on here and started my first blog. I now have a book review blog too which at times feels as though it's taking over my life. The reason being I can just never refuse to read and review a book. So many books,so little time.
I've always loved writing. At school we called them compositions or essays. I can still remember some of them. 
When I started this blog I was dipping my toe back into the water again. When my children were young I wrote poems but never anything more. I have loved writing this blog so much and I have met such lovely people through its pages. 
My posts are fewer now and the reason for that is I have finally joined a writing group. Every week I have to come up with a new story or poem which I'm loving. It does eat into my time and that's the reason there hasn't been the same number of blogposts from me.
Over five years I have posted 195 times and have had over 17,000 page views. People have visited from all over the world, although some may be a spam visit I like to think that most of them are real people so just leave me in my bubble. 
On the plus side to my writing group I now have a whole folder full of stories. I am writing longer stories than ever but I'm not at that stage yet where I could write a book and I really don't care if I never do as I'm enjoying what I'm doing at the moment so much. 
My second post on this blog five years ago was about me waiting for my first grandchild to be born. She will be turning five soon and is now joined by her sister who's two. Another little one will be joining us in October and we can't wait.

Those of you who have read my blog will remember dinosaur boy who I looked after for his mum. We had many many adventures together and even although I have moved to the other side of the city he is still a big part of my life. He will be six very soon and is a big schoolboy now.
My granddaughters and dinosaur boy are coming to stay today for a few days and I'm looking forward to hugging them.

So thank you to everyone who's read this blog over the last five years. I will keep it going although maybe not as many posts as there have been.
To the faithful crew who read every post and comment,thank you so much. A special mention to Rosalind, Carol H, Val,and Jo, these women have been so supportive and I'm sure if I lived near them I would be starting on my first book by now. Thank you ladies. For Joanne and zinger from the USA thank you too for continually reading my blog.
I'm having problems commenting on blogs that are being moderated and I have no idea how to fix it. My comments are being emailed back to me. I am reading and trying to comment on all your blogs.
Here's to the next five years of writing,reading and blogging. Please have some cake and some luminous champagne before you leave.

Friday, 1 July 2016

Lest We Forget.

Today is my birthday but more important than that it is the 100th anniversary of the first day of the battle of The Somme. My grandfather John Downes fought during the first world war. I have no idea if he was present at the Somme. I never met him. He came home suffering from the effects of mustard gas poisoning which damaged his lungs and resulted in him dying far too young.
Thousands of men never returned from France and thousands more believed there would never be another war after that one.
Our country and the world is in such turmoil today. There's so much hatred and badness among so many people. We can't trust the people who run our country. We have to look to ourselves to be good, to be kind and to understand what others are going through. We can not let those men down again.

                                                 The Soldier.                                                

Silence,I have forgotten it's sound.
 My ears have become accustomed to gunfire and bombing.
Think of the loudest noise you have heard and multiply it by hundreds, no, thousands of decibels.
I long for the sweet smell of my wife’s perfume, my baby boy’s skin, 
a rose and sausages sizzling in a pan.
I'm sick of the smell of burning,of gunfire,of dirt,of death.
You ask what death smells like?
It smells of a life lost, the end of hope.
It burns your nostrils and it makes you afraid.
Did you know that mud smells too?
Of blood,urine and unwashed men.
When you live in mud it smells of you.
Ypres, Flanders, Passchendaele, the Somme.
We trudge from one battle to another, pieces on a chessboard moved by an unseen hand.
Three steps forward and two steps back.
I am losing hope but I am kept going by the thought that this will be the war to end all wars.
 Man will never fight against his fellow man again.
 My son will be safe. 
He will never have to don a uniform and find himself fighting in a foreign land.
Lessons will be learned.
                                         Anne Mackle

10th Battalion East Yorkshire Regiment of the 31st Division. Marching to the front line. photo credit By Brooks, Ernest (Lieutenant) (Photographer) - is photograph Q 724 from the collections of the Imperial War Museums., Public Domain,



Monday, 18 April 2016

Beyond The Wall.

I was given a task at my writing group to write something with the title Beyond The Wall. This is about how hard I find it to meditate and what happens when I do. It's also about how wonderful dreams can be. 

                      Beyond The Wall.

Beyond the wall there's a beautiful land,
With bright pink sea and purple sand.
The trees are laden with twinkling stars,
And tiny moonbeams live in jars.
Beyond the wall

I stroked a lion and hugged a bear,
And we sat together,without a care.
A green stripy tiger came to say hello
And played a tune on a small banjo.
Beyond the wall

I rode a wild stallion, it's mane was shiney blue.
I'd never rode a horse before but I knew what to do.
Faster and faster it ran on purple sand, then 
A rainbow came down and covered all the land.
Beyond the wall.

Every night I hope to visit that weird and wonderful place.
Every morning I return and never leave a trace.
No footprints in the sand,the sea washed them away.
I'm back to reality and my world has turned to grey.
I have seen beyond the wall.

You can't go there by boat or plane,
Not even by a very fast train.
A car's no use nor is a bike,
And it's far too far if you wanted to hike.
The wall is big and long and wide.
You wouldn't get there if you hitched a ride.

You don't need money or credit card.
But getting there can be oh so hard.
The wall is black and tries to hide
What it's like on the other side

If I empty my mind of the thoughts of today,
And think like the child I used to be.
If I close my eyes and let myself fall,
I hope I shall land there
Beyond the wall.

My dreams will be of pink seas and purple sands,
And banjo playing tigers forming a band.
Of riding horses and hugging a bear.
And having a moonbeam as a clasp in my hair.
When I am beyond the wall.

Friday, 4 March 2016

The Empty Space.

There was an empty space on the floor at dance class this morning. Someone died. Someone I didn't know personally. We had exchanged hellos and commented on the weather and probably laughed at how silly we looked practicing a line dance but I didn't really know her.
We stood around in small groups telling each person who entered the room what had happened.
 Last week the class had been cancelled,a mixture of thick snow on the ground and the class teacher being ill. Within the two weeks between classes one of our ladies had simply gone.

At first I couldn't remember who she was. I felt terrible,but in a large group of people there are always some you will know better than others. Gradually a face came to mind and my brain refused to accept that this was the same lady. Sadly it was.
There was no big announcement,we all just got on with the class but I knew everyone was aware of the empty space once occupied by a living, breathing vibrant being.
We were all sad,shocked and speechless.
It had all happened so quickly. The lady was attending another class and became ill. Maybe we have all said that when our time comes we would like to go quickly,no long illness to fight against,no lingering.
I thought of her family and close friends. Did they get a chance to say goodbye, to tell her they loved her? I hope they did and I hope she did too.

I have a sadness inside me for someone I didn't really know. She has occupied my thoughts and my prayers.
Every week we will now look at that empty space even if it becomes filled with someone else's body,we will still see it. The emptiness of it will stay as a reminder of how swift death can be and how very precious every minute we spend with our family and friends is. We should treasure the minutes.
So goodbye to the lady I might have got to know better if I had known her for longer. Condolences to the people who loved her. May she rest in peace.

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Happy Enough?

Can we ever be completely and utterly happy with our life? I know we can all have  moments of true happiness but if we could would we change things.
How many times do we say," I wish I could win the lottery " and then plan what we would do with all those millions. Give it a thought,would we really like our lives to change in the way they would if we won millions?

Last year on holiday in Turkey we stayed at a small pension with only sixteen rooms. This was owned and ran by a husband and wife. The owner built the pension with his mother when he was a young boy so he's very proud of it. He told me that over the years visitors have asked him why he doesn't make the pension bigger, he has the room. Why doesn't he use space in his garden and build a few villas as many in the surrounding area have done? He would make a fortune,they tell him.

He said he has always refused to do this. It would mean hiring more staff,working longer hours,or maybe even taking a step back himself and hiring a manager and a cook.
The business is just the right size for him to manage and for his wife to do what she loves and cook for the guests. They work hard. He is on the go from 7am until the last guest retires to bed which can be the wee small hours of the morning. They are friendly people and this creates a convivial atmoshere where their guests and everyone who stays leave feeling part of the family. 

He asked,"Why should I change things when I don't need a bigger car or more money stored away in a bank account? I am happy enough!"
What he said stuck with me and I admired him for not being greedy and wanting more.

I suppose if I won the lottery I wouldn't send it back but I would like to think I would give a good deal of it to charities and maybe change the lives of people who have far less than I do.

 I have decided 
 I don't want a huge mansion, I would need to employ cleaners.
 I don't want to travel the world (like I once did) I would miss my family too much.
 I don't want to buy expensive shoes or handbags, I'd probably just buy more books that I don't have time to read.

My children make me happy.
My husband makes me happy
My granddaughters make me happy.
My little dinosaur boy makes me happy.
Friends make me happy.
Writing makes me happy.
Reading make me happy.
Sewing makes me happy.
Dancing makes me happy.
Singing makes me happy( but no one else !)

Listed like that I have many things to be happy about.

 The more I think about it The more I agree with my host in Turkey, I don't want things to change as 
I'm happy enough!

I wrote this a few days ago and only yesterday on Sky News the question they asked was,
"Are you happy?"
I think the conclusion was that being happy meant different things to different people.
You can't say fairer than that!
Are you happy enough?

Saturday, 23 January 2016

We Never Change!

For a few weeks before Christmas I watched a tv programmed called The Secret Life Of Children.
 The series started with two year olds and finished with six year olds. A group of children were chosen from different parts of the U.K. and brought to attend a playgroup where hidden cameras recorded their interactions with each other. Child physiologists were in another room listening, viewing and commenting on the children's behaviour.
I found the programme very interesting. It showed us how children learn how to be social at different levels of their development. Some children are naturally more advanced than others and learn quicker.   

When children are very young they can't empathise with their playmates. They only understand how they themselves feel. Some children just couldn't accept not winning or not being first and broke down in tears. During the course of the days spent in the playgroup friendships were formed. New children were then introduced to the group. Some new children were ignored but some of the children welcomed new faces excitedly and willingly.

What I've experienced in the past few months as the new face in town and my experience of life in general has drawn me to the conclusion that we are all still little kids at heart and never grow up.

In a place of work a new person starts working alongside you and your workmates for the first time. I've noticed some people welcome them and show them the ropes almost without being asked. Other people will be suspicious of this new person, worried if they give too much away the new person could end up better at the job than they are. I worked in a GP surgery and I remember that one new girl was disliked by some staff because she was too nice and too friendly with the patients. Yes and that's true!

As a newbie I have joined a few different leisure classes. Like at school most people were in little groups, cleeks we used to call them. Some have imaginary walls around them giving off vibes of "enter if you dare" All you can do is smile and say hello.

Everyone seems reluctant to be the first to welcome you, but it only takes one person. When that person breaks through the wall and holds out the hand of friendship and draws you into their group the other members also welcome you. Gradually over time the other cleeks notice you and think,
" Well if she's good enough for that group then maybe she's okay." Then one day you'll find you're excepted by everyone. Yes it's just like being back in school.

As you get older it does get harder to make new friends in a new town. Most people have a shared history. Maybe they worked together at some point or even went to the same school, know the same people. You have to find some common ground. It starts off by being the activity of the group you have joined,everyone is there for the same reason. It then has to branch out, do you read the same books, have similar taste in music, enjoy tea and cake,etc...
This was just like the older children in the tv programme. I heard them asking each other about food they liked,toys they liked etc.

As for me being the new girl in town well someone did step outside the group and welcomed me in and I'm gradually feeling like I belong.